The King’s Horse/Dawson’s Prisoners/The Calculation
by Sean Cooney

We are three singing soldiers
And tonight we bring to you
Three fine tales to make yer roar
Like Tommies all should do
So gulp yer gunfire down me boys
The Dixies on its way
Number 1 your time has come
Step into the fray

Well our orders came one morning to march through wonder wood
We were to be inspected by a man of noble blood
We reached the spot and stood for hours
And then our hearts did sing
For It was no duke it was no lord
It was the flipping king!

Now Georgie rode a lively steed whose tail did gaily swish
He galloped all along the line as jumpy as a fish
Now we’d been told to raise a cheer and what befell of course
Hip hip hooray!” we cried and the king fell off his horse

Now there was a brisk young sergeant and Dawson was his name
Was from the downs of Somerset our handsome hero came
But at the Somme he fell in mud and couldn’t turn about
And he longed to surrender if old Jerry’d pull him out
Now next day 5 big boshes came galloshing with a thud
Take me prisoner” Dawson cried “and pull me from the mud!”
They pulled him out and rubbed him down and what a blooming fuss
We’re not taking you” they cried, “you are taking us!”

Now don’t you fear me lively lads”
Our officer began
We shall reach the Rhine me boys
And I will lead the van”
When will we reach it sir please tell”
Young Albie Green then cried
Our officer he gave a wink
And quickly he replied
I’ve been doing some calculating chaps
So I can tell you plain
Divide the distance we must go
By average ground we’ve gained
And provided there’s no set backs lads
And we’ve not gone to heaven
Then we shall reach the Rhine me boys
In 2007”

So now you’ve heard our stories lads
And each of them is true
But the whizz-bangs they are shrieking now
We must bid you adieu
And if we do go west, me boys, don’t you think it ill
In our rest camp we’ll light a lamp
And we’ll be singing still